Today we had to say goodbye to a family member who has been with us over 13 years. I have never felt a loss so strongly as I have today. My eyes are swollen shut and I feel like there isn’t an ounce of liquid left in my body. I am devastated.
At the Croatian coast with Mario (Shylock's frequent babysitter and friend)
It is amazing what you take for granted everyday. All the pieces in your life are in place and you feel like it is just supposed to be that way, as if there are no other factors that can disrupt your universe. All the pieces are especially important for someone who has a mild case of OCD like me. Pillows with feather duvet--check. Children playing in the background--check. Workout clothes neatly folded in the closet--check. Dog sleeping quietly by my side--check. It all tells me that it is my life and everything is in its proper place.
The innocence of being newly married with an adorable dog.
Today the universe shifted. It moved in a way that is unfamiliar to me. I see my pillow, I see my children, I even wore my workout clothing, but there is no doggie by my bedside. Everything has been turned upside down. For 13 years now, I have depended on that sweet little dog to be by my side as I sleep, or greet me at the door when I arrive home. There is an empty spot in my life that I can’t change.
Only months after Axel and I were married we moved to Croatia. Axel had a job with an NGO and I took my last year of BYU in a huge duffle bag hoping to be the first graduate of BYU home study overseas. I had 13 classes to go and a year of nothing to do but study. I knew it was going to be lonely as I worked day in and day out on my assignments.
Catching lizards in Croatia
As a result, Axel and I both decided that I needed a companion. I needed a diversion to kept me sane during that full year of intense self-motivation and discipline. I grew up with a Yorkie dog, Romeo, and adored him. He didn’t care for me much. In fact, I don’t know how many countless times I was bitten by the rascal, but truth be told, I probably deserved it. I was hoping that this time around I could try again and win the love of a Yorkie. Finding a Yorkie was the next challenge. It was no small feat. Split, Croatia was a tiny city and there weren’t too many Yorkies on the pet trade.
By a small twist of fate we found a lady who sold Yorkies. She had a litter of 6 week old puppies who melted my heart the minute I saw them. We pondered the idea of having a puppy and made the decision that this would be something good for me. Just days after we bought Shylock we started to worry when we reflected on the size of his mom. She was a large Yorkie mutt and well over 10 kilos. (Shylock’s dad was supposedly a tiny Italian show dog, but we never actually saw him). We didn’t want a large dog and we both thought we should bring Shylock back to the seller.
Sedona, Arizona
That night, Shylock slept in our bed with us (as he did for many years later). He was so cozy, cute and sweet. It was like he knew we were thinking of taking him back. The next morning we both agreed that he was the dog for us. I have never regretted my decision to keep him since (not to mention the fact that he has never weighed over 3 kilos, ever.) He was my bestest friend during that year. We took him everywhere. I carried a toy pup in my arms long before Paris Hilton ever made the look trendy. The Croatians loved him and many of them knew him by name. He loved to promenade along the corniche.
Heavah 3 months old with Shylock.
Since that time, Shylock has been a light in our lives. We took him everywhere. I never shopped or drove anywhere without him. I went through a number of purses that could inconspicuously house Shylock so I could grocery shop or take him to work without a single person knowing. His warm body was a little extension of me. Nothing was more fun than to see a person’s shock after Shylock would poke his tiny head out and reveal himself. Everyone loved him.
Visiting Salem, MA 8 months pregnant with Heavah
Shylock was with Axel and I for 5 years before we even thought about having children. He filled any void we may have had while I finished my undergrad, began my graduate studies, and worked full-time putting Axel through graduate school. We were those weird people who treated our dog like a child and made no apologies for it. I still don’t. He was the perfect thing to have in our lives while we worked hard to set up our future. I know God placed him in our lives at the right time and in the right way.
Weeks after Axel's brain surgery, Heavah 11 months old, I am 9 months pregnant with Xavier
We have had so many incredible memories with Shylock.
He used to chase chinchillas in our apartment while we lived in Croatia.
His instincts of being a rat killer really came out.
Axel and I would be entertained for hours as we saw the cat and mouse routine between Shylock and our pet chinchilla.
Shylock would go to the islands with us often and run along the Croatian coastline.
He moved from place to
place with us and was always a trusted companion.
He has lived in 6 different countries and has experienced more in his little doggie life than most adult humans.
Puja'ed in Nepal
I have dreaded this day from the beginning. I have feared that I would have to be the one to make the choice. It was extremely hard, but necessary. He is free from his ailments now. He can frolic in a much happier place surrounded by freedom and love. My heart aches. It is pained and I dislike this feeling more than anything. I wish I could have him by my side forever, but the fragility of life is apparent and I have to let go. His memory will always be honored in our home. He gave so much more than he received. My life has been forever changed by the unconditional love of a 3-pound Yorkie and the world is a little less bright because he is no longer in it.
Shylock and his favorite toy, 'the piggie'
We love you Shylock, and look to the day when we can be reunited again.
Xavier asking, "It's just a lady sitting. What's the big deal?"
I do believe we found the noise threshold for the Louvre a number of times. We also know every bathroom in the entire building. Other than the poking-a-pen-in-Heavah's-eye incident (which was a close 'emergency room' call) they did pretty well. 
I do believe we found the noise threshold for the Louvre a number of times. We also know every bathroom in the entire building. Other than the poking-a-pen-in-Heavah's-eye incident (which was a close 'emergency room' call) they did pretty well. 
