Why I Like Doha - Reason #2

It is no secret that one of the best parts about living overseas is the fact that you can have live-in help. When I first moved overseas I was hesitant about hiring extra help. It seemed wimpy and in my Mormon-wired brain I thought I was less of a woman if someone else did the cooking and laundry. It took me a day to get over it.

I have been through a few maids but when I find a keeper, life could not be better. Sarita, our maid from Nepal, has been with our family for two years now and I am SO thankful for her in our lives. She has been a source of strength and love in our home. She is exceptional at her job and is always the calm amongst the chaos. I don't know how she does it. She used to work for a Kuwaiti family who had 10 children (and that is just the beginning of the horror) for 5 years in Kuwait. She was on her holiday in Nepal when we found her. She was supposed to return to Kuwait, but we caught her just in time. How fortunate we were.

Our maid/nanny lives in our home 24/7. It takes some getting used to and for many people, it is too weird having extra bodies in the house. I don't notice it and considering they are there to help, I am just fine with it. Having maids also requires me to release all those control issues I have. I don't care if there is some dust in the corner because it isn't my job. I don't mind the messes because I know eventually, it will get cleaned. Sometimes clothing that shouldn't be put in the dyer does, or my clothing isn't put away in its proper order, but in the end, I don't care. It is getting done and it isn't me doing it. It is funny how having a maid has allowed me to accept imperfections a little more and keeps me a lot less stressed about the messes my kids make. Instead, I can engage in the messes without having to worry about the clean up. That is the best part.

People wonder what I do all day since I have two maids. I find this to be a rather funny question, because I am still a mother of 4 kids. Having maids just means that I have more time for them and myself. There are many opportunities to calmly sit and read to my children, or bake cookies, or teach them a new skill. I can also spend 2 hours in the gym with the ease of knowing my son is taking a nap and Sedona is playing with her ponies. Living overseas is very different from living back in the states and people expect you to have a maid. If you don't, your life would be infinitely more difficult. When in Rome....

There are times I miss doing the housework. This mainly happens when I feel out of control in my life. If I am frustrated or annoyed, I will pick up a mop or cook a meal. Housework is actually fun when it is a choice. I really noticed this when I was living without a maid for 5 months when we first moved to Doha.

I still require my children to help clean their messes and make their beds. Part of the maid's job is to ensure that they do not do things for my children that my children can do for themselves. My kids hate this part. They see so many other maids constantly picking up after the children. If my kids can do some of the work, they will. I also insist that my children respect our nanny and maid. This is a hard one for most children in the Middle East.

There are a lot of downsides to maids, especially if you get the wrong one. They can be the source of great frustration and mistrust. Maids are the central point of discussion amongst expat women. Whether they are looking for one, or dislike the one they have, there are always issues to discuss. You also hear horror stories of maids sleeping around with the maintenance man, or leaving your children unattended while they engage in illegal behavior. That is why when you find one you trust and like, you must do everything to keep her.

It is rare to have two maids, but since we started having two maids three years ago, it is hard to go back. It is nice to know that they can support each other and they have a friend to talk to. It is nice that they can work in tandem and have a break every now and then. It works well for us for a number of reasons. In the past we have had difficulties finding a second maid, but I am so thankful that we inherited Meena. (Thanks, Amber). Sarita and her have great synergy.

Maids are not for everyone, but I am thankful I have two and it works well in my home. I am especially glad that I have the help while raising small children. It is a beautiful thing.