Sarita's Wedding FAQs

Many people have asked about Sarita and how her marriage came about. I will try to answer all the frequently asked questions, but if I happen to miss something, just ask.

1. How did she meet her husband?

When Brad came to visit us in the summer Sarita really liked being around him. It was her first experience with a boy and as she interacted with him, I think she began realizing that she was ready to start thinking about marriage. It was the first time I ever saw her be comfortable with the subject of marriage. Brad came and went but she started probing more and more about the church. I think she realized she needed to think about her future and what kind of life she wanted for herself and her future children.

Soon after she began looking into church Axel suggested that she join an LDS singles site. Sarita hadn't touched a computer in her life. When she moved to Doha, we got her a Facebook and email account. We gave her our old laptop and opened her an account on LDS Planet. I took a few good pictures, and she was all set. I had no idea she was going to be the most popular girl on that site. She was getting at least 10 emails and flirts a day. I couldn't open my computer without some guy appearing on my chat screen trying to converse with Sarita.

Sarita was still insecure with typing and her English so I would type for her as she dictated to me what she wanted to say. She had no idea how to interact with men. She would often look at me with a blank stare and say, 'What I say?' It took a lot of probing to help her start a conversation. I wrote her many of the basic sayings, 'Where are you from? How many siblings are in your family? How long have you been a member of the church?' Then, I wrote many of her common responses, "I am a nanny and I live in the Middle East. I am not a member yet. I hope to be baptized soon." She had hard time approaching any of the questions, but after a while, she was a pro.

It didn't take long before she had over 15 regular guys pursuing her. I taught her how to use Skype and she was slowly capable of talking to people, by herself, with very little fear. It was incredible to see the transformation from a girl who could barely make eye contact with a man to someone who was able to use sarcasm and laugh with all sorts of different guys. She always wanted me close by and would still look to me for help or advice. She wasn't entirely on her own yet.

One summers eve, Sarita received a chat request. He immediately asked for her Skype address and began talking to her. At this time, Sarita was ready to be on her own. She began to talk to Tim one-on-one with no help from me. He first taught her how to swing dance and then sang to her. I overheard some of their interactions and silently chuckled inside. They were two awkward people who were really happy to be conversing. At that time, I thanked the Lord I was married.

For several days, Tim would appear on Skype. He eventually wanted to talk to Axel and find out more about Sarita. The conversation was very candid and Axel asked Tim a lot of tough questions. I think the conversation was far more intense than if Tim had actually spoken to her birth father. (Sadly, Sarita's father deceased many years ago). Axel was very protective of Sarita and wanted to make sure she wasn't being pursued by some moron. Axel asked for Tim's bishop's phone number and we spoke with Tim on a regular basis.

As time went on, their relationship began to grow. She spoke to Tim daily for an extended length of time. For Sarita, this was a lot of courting. If she stayed in Nepal, her mother would have found her a suitor in the village and Sarita would have to marry a man she only spoke to maybe once or twice. This was serious.

Honestly, what could Axel be saying to Tim just minutes before he walked in to be married? Whatever it was, it apparently required a chicken dance.

2. Who is Tim?

Tim is a convert to the church. He has been a member for 15 years. He has a solid testimony and can't wait to help Sarita grow in the church. He is in his mid-thirties and has never been married (Sarita is 26). He is a computer software engineer by profession and has two masters in Information Technology and Computer Science. He is an engineer through and through. Tim uses science fiction references to me often. I don't understand and often have to turn to Axel for geek translation.

3. Where is he from?

I believe he grew up in Colorado but he considers home Palo Alto, California.

4. How did he propose?

On the day of Sarita's baptism, he proposed via Skype. At the time, we didn't have the internet so she had to go to my friend's house to mooch some Wi Fi (thanks, Megan). Not so romantic, but the deed was properly done.

5. What was it like when they first met?

Sarita is very shy by nature. Tim isn't. I think he eased a lot of her fears and and his funny behavior made her smile. Sarita was shaking in her boots and was late to arrive at the airport. We had to tell Tim to go back into the airport and wait 10 minutes so their first meeting would be authentic. When she finally arrived, Sarita stood there with her welcoming flowers shivering with anxiety. She turned to me and said, 'I'm so scared right now'. She did great, and after they started speaking a lot, she got over all of her fears. After all, she had been talking to him on Skype everyday for 5 or 6 months.

6. Why did they have a Hindu wedding if both of them are Christian?

Sarita was open to having a wedding in Qatar or a Christian wedding in Nepal. Since the real wedding will be in the temple next year, I encouraged her to have a Hindu wedding for her family's sake. Sarita is the only one not married out of her 9 siblings. She is the youngest daughter, and the most loved. Sarita had not seen her mother in several years and I thought it was important for her mother and her family to see her have a traditional marriage. Her entire family knows she is Christian but sometimes it is hard to decide where religion begins and tradition ends. Since this is the case, the ceremony was very traditional and not very religious.

Sarita received a lot of pressures from many people to have a Christian wedding, but having a traditional Nepali wedding was something both her and Tim agreed was important. Her mother came from a very far village near the Nepal/Indian border ( 14 hour bus ride and 5 hour walk from KTM). She is old and may not live much longer. It was great for Sarita's mom to witness the lovely union of her last daughter and her new son-in-law. Sarita comes from one of the best families I know.

Tim, Sarita's mom, and Sarita

7. Why was there a filming crew?

A girl from Tim's ward was working on her masters thesis at Stanford University. She just happened to be studying relationships of Asian women with American men via the internet. She was also a film maker. When she heard about Tim's story and she asked to come to the wedding to properly film the beginning, middle and end. Sarita was hesitant but told them to ask her family in Doha if it was okay. I thought the film would document her story well and the more people who know about her miraculous story, the better.

8. Who came to the wedding?

Sarita is obviously well loved. She received so much support from our ward in Doha. In fact, my neighbor and good friend Dianna came with her family. She has a fondness for Sarita and almost cried when she heard Sarita's story. Then, just moments later she said, 'I want to come!' I couldn't believe she did it. I know it meant so much to Sarita to have Dianna there.

Sarita also really wanted my mom to attend the wedding. She calls my mom grandma and loves her to pieces. It was only right that my mom would come and be part of the wedding. Sarita bought saris for all of us and I was lucky enough to be dressed in the designated 'Mother of the Bride' clothing. I felt humbled and honored (and a little old) to have our family be such an integral part of her special day.

I continually had to have reality checks. So many circumstantial things had to occur to put us all in Nepal together witnessing Sarita's wedding. You can't help but think God's hand was orchestrating everything.

Dianna, my mom, and me

The Bishop and his wife

Our old staff

Sarita's family

9. What are their future plans?

Tim intends to live in Nepal until Sarita's visa is finished. After that, they will head to the states. They are currently living next to a Tibetan monastery. Because he is a software engineer, he telecommutes for work so distance isn't an issue. A visa for Sarita could take from 6 months to a year. Until that time, they are going to rent a small apartment and travel around Nepal. They may go to India or Thailand for their honeymoon depending on the visa for Sarita.

The monastery where they are staying for now.

9. What am I going to do without her?

Sarita and I talk almost everyday. I realize that she is the little sister I never had. My love for her is unique and special. I want to take care of her and continue to help her to grow. It is the least I could do. I don't think anyone knows my family better than she does. She has been a great blessing to our lives. As the time drew near for her to leave for Nepal, there was a natural change in her. She was no longer a nanny, she became a girl who had to think about her own needs. It was incredible to watch.

Just a month before Sarita left, my friends' maid became available because they were heading back to the states (thanks again, Megan!). Maria has worked out perfectly for our family. We are functioning just fine and God has created a really comfortable shift for all of us. I miss Sarita's friendship most of all, but she is always just a call away. It couldn't have worked out better.

When Sarita started working for our family, Axel said, 'I feel like she would be part of our family for a long time.' I don't think he knew how prophetic that comment was until now.

Okay, what'd I miss?